Review for Happycheers Stainless Steel Tumbler Cups 12 Oz Portable Wine... - Monica Garrett - Blog Booster

I’ve always said that family is who stays by your side, especially during hard times. Just because you have someone’s DNA doesn’t make them family if they don’t treat you well. 

I never intended for my family dynamic to be what it is. Life happens and sometimes things just don’t go as planned.  My family now consists of the people who want to be in my life or the lives of my children. This sometimes means that it puts me in a strange situation but if it benefits my kids, that’s the way it has to be. 

I’ve had people who were blood related to me walk out of my life. It wasn’t the easiest situation to get through but it happened. It took my first child being born for me to realize that if you want to keep your family together, you have to just be loyal to them despite any differences in your beliefs and despite some situations. 

Those who are most like you are sometimes the hardest to get along with. That usually means those who are closely related to you. I’ve had more falling outs with blood family than anyone else. It’s because neither of us would back down so we walked away. When my son was born, we talked it over and agreed to not let the small stuff get in the way because we didn’t want to hurt my son. 

It took me even longer to learn how to keep from being manipulated by family. After years of it, I looked at the big picture and saw an amazing realization. The person who I was trying to please couldn’t be pleased because of their own choices and decisions. It wasn’t my fault. 

Fast forward a few years and I gained some new family members. I’m not related by blood but my child is.  His father isn’t involved in his life but there are other relatives who wanted to be. This put these people in my life for the benefit of my child, who was too young to be “handed off” to them without my presence. I would never hand over my child if it were not something he was comfortable with. I don’t put myself ahead of my children. It’s not because I’m trying to spoil them or don’t think I deserve my own time. It’s because there are situations I was put in when I was young that traumatized me for life. There are things that shaped my life and I don’t want to do that to my kids. 

I have an entire family of people who have no blood relation to me whatsoever. Now, this family consists of at least one person who absolutely hates me. He just didn’t get a choice in whether or not to have to encounter me. 

I’m an only child. I grew up with a best friend who in every way but blood relation is my sister. Her entire family, which is quite larger than mine, adopted me into their life when I was 8 years old. I’m approaching forty and they are still, and will always be, my family. 

There are blood relatives I can call any time and they will be there for me. Hopefully, they know that I would be there for them as well. I’m not great at communicating on a regular basis. I hate talking on the phone. I send cards sometimes and a text or Facebook message. That’s it. But they know I care. 

I’ve become a lot more family oriented with each passing year. I suppose a lot of people do because growing older makes you face all of the aspects of the circle of life. You lose loved ones and you watch your family grow with each child that is born.

I spent many years dreaming of my “married life” and I dated and got engaged a few times. Every time, until the last time, I called off the engagement because I couldn’t see spending forever with that person. 

The last time, I gave up. I said I would marry and be content with the next person I was in a relationship with. I gave up on true love. I gave up on finding my soul mate. I gave up on my Cinderella story. I did everything I possibly could to just exist in a relationship with someone I wasn’t attracted to and really didn’t have anything in common with. He left. I’m so glad. Because I then snapped out of the depression that put me where I was. I only had decided to be content with whoever came along because I wanted “the perfect family dynamic”.  

Sometimes, the perfect family is just the people who love you and are loyal to you. They are there when others aren’t. They are those people you’re making memories with and enjoying life with. Treasure them and live happily with those people and cal them family!